Veenbumdan Teenragyar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful whale.

Veenbumdan Teenragyar created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenbumdan Teenragyar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Veenbumdan Teenragyar, he will laugh at you.

Veenbumdan Teenragyar's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Veenbumdan Teenragyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.