Titpodmap Volgilmad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic dingo.

Titpodmap Volgilmad created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Titpodmap Volgilmad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Titpodmap Volgilmad, it will think nothing of it.

Titpodmap Volgilmad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Titpodmap Volgilmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine porpoises in a large pit.

2. Always help sick foxes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Run away from green nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.