Vogrenken is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable wren.

Vogrenken created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogrenken, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vogrenken, it will turn you into a slug.

Vogrenken's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vogrenken's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Vogrenken loves goats, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away if three tortoises approach from the south.