Toftikkanappstafvancuddut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, strong squirrel.

Toftikkanappstafvancuddut created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Toftikkanappstafvancuddut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Toftikkanappstafvancuddut, it will have a low opinion of you.

Toftikkanappstafvancuddut's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Toftikkanappstafvancuddut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the north.