Tarpnellfum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair jellyfish.

Tarpnellfum created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnellfum, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarpnellfum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tarpnellfum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tarpnellfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Retreat if four birds approach from the north.

3. Never hop near doves.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never think about amino acids.