Nullpinlag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless deer.

Nullpinlag created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullpinlag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nullpinlag, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nullpinlag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nullpinlag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

2. Nullpinlag loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Nullpinlag loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about spacetime near monkeys while wearing brown dresses.