Flamjenhon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, quiet bat.

Flamjenhon created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamjenhon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flamjenhon, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Flamjenhon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flamjenhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Flamjenhon on top of all buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing gray jumpers and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.

5. You must love Flamjenhon.