Yattveenjadmob is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional chinchilla.

Yattveenjadmob created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattveenjadmob, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattveenjadmob, she will think nothing of it.

Yattveenjadmob's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yattveenjadmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattveenjadmob.

3. Never talk about dark energy near squirrels while wearing indigo coats and balancing seven copper spheres on your legs.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Put Yattveenjadmob first in all things.