Bog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish lizard.

Bog created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bog, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bog, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bog's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing white shirts and balancing three zinc spheres on your chest.

4. Bog loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not speak about nuts.