Nibdimbab Flatfonkik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omnipotent snake.

Nibdimbab Flatfonkik created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Nibdimbab Flatfonkik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nibdimbab Flatfonkik, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nibdimbab Flatfonkik's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nibdimbab Flatfonkik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Feed all hungry ducks.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.