Gombaf Dumvenjop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witty wyvern.

Gombaf Dumvenjop created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Gombaf Dumvenjop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gombaf Dumvenjop, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gombaf Dumvenjop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gombaf Dumvenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never write about dark matter.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never think about spacetime near moths while wearing magenta scarves and balancing eight iron spheres on your legs.

5. Gombaf Dumvenjop loves eagles, so they must be respected.