Getpadwip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless salamander.

Getpadwip created the Virgo Supercluster four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getpadwip, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Getpadwip, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Getpadwip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Getpadwip's Holy Commandments

1. Getpadwip loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear green ear rings.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Getpadwip.