Garwitabtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome bird.

Garwitabtonk created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Garwitabtonk, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Garwitabtonk, she will turn you into a puffin.

Garwitabtonk's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Garwitabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Always wear white.

3. Run away from mauve sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help rats in need.