Sawyogfot is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, fussy giraffe.

Sawyogfot created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawyogfot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sawyogfot, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sawyogfot's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sawyogfot's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sawyogfot.

2. Never feed turnips to mites while wearing ear rings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.