Barnortran is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient dog.

Barnortran created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnortran, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Barnortran, it will torture you forever.

Barnortran's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Barnortran's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near horses while wearing pink skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Barnortran on top of all buildings.