Jenpomcetcum is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, confident guinea pig.

Jenpomcetcum created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenpomcetcum, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jenpomcetcum, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jenpomcetcum's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Jenpomcetcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Jenpomcetcum loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed lots of tomatoes to tapirs while wearing brown shorts.