Govnuljat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome hummingbird.

Govnuljat created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govnuljat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Govnuljat, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Govnuljat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Govnuljat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Govnuljat on top of all buildings.