Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish mole.

Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap, it will turn you into a duck.

Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cetdudtar Kadortkimcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese.

2. Never sit in the presence of rats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.