Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witless hummingbird.

Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Bugkopcep Babhamnill Ontnutvig loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing gray jumpers.

5. Never think about asteroids.