Nurtgamnill is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest hamster.

Nurtgamnill created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtgamnill, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurtgamnill, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Nurtgamnill's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nurtgamnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to mites while wearing brown dresses.