Gadveenbonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful crane.

Gadveenbonk created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadveenbonk, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadveenbonk, he will turn you into a tree.

Gadveenbonk's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gadveenbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gadveenbonk.

3. Do not take Gadveenbonk's name in vain.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to music.