Damwantad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty jaguar.

Damwantad created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damwantad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Damwantad, she will turn you into a duck.

Damwantad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Damwantad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Never paint your back mauve.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never talk about nebulae.