Gutlitbinhubteen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful dove.

Gutlitbinhubteen created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutlitbinhubteen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutlitbinhubteen, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gutlitbinhubteen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gutlitbinhubteen's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not cook food in pots.