Cissismin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful zebra.

Cissismin created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissismin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cissismin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cissismin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cissismin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Do not take Cissismin's name in vain.