Fattettibop Omtgumdad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring skunk.

Fattettibop Omtgumdad created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fattettibop Omtgumdad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fattettibop Omtgumdad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fattettibop Omtgumdad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fattettibop Omtgumdad's Holy Commandments

1. Fattettibop Omtgumdad loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about gravity near otters while wearing cyan hats and balancing eight gold spheres on your face.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Do not keep three swans in a large pit.