Tofruttwip is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic donkey.

Tofruttwip created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofruttwip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tofruttwip, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tofruttwip's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tofruttwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must pray to Tofruttwip nine times a day.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tofruttwip.