Bellcimlid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonest eagle.

Bellcimlid created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellcimlid, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bellcimlid, she will turn you into a duck.

Bellcimlid's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bellcimlid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Run away from turquoise aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Run away if six geese approach from the east.