Vagwipjin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy meerkat.

Vagwipjin created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vagwipjin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vagwipjin, she will ignore you.

Vagwipjin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vagwipjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.