Gommontarp is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, competent crocodile.

Gommontarp created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gommontarp, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gommontarp, he will turn you into a snail.

Gommontarp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gommontarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Gommontarp loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.