Sidjarnab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, stupid ant.

Sidjarnab created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sidjarnab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sidjarnab, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sidjarnab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sidjarnab's Holy Commandments

1. Sidjarnab loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hide from orange aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.