Wonligtalstan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering dryad.

Wonligtalstan created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonligtalstan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wonligtalstan, he will turn you into a mole.

Wonligtalstan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Wonligtalstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of porpoises.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not eat beans.