Beggidtig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, grumpy tortoise.

Beggidtig created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beggidtig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Beggidtig, it will turn you into a slug.

Beggidtig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Beggidtig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Put Beggidtig first in all things.