Watcem is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured fairy.

Watcem created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Watcem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Watcem, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Watcem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Watcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Never feed lentils to cats while wearing kilts.