Nillfemjin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody crow.

Nillfemjin created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillfemjin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillfemjin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nillfemjin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nillfemjin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow snails for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Put Nillfemjin first in all things.