Bafcutfig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, sapient owl.

Bafcutfig created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bafcutfig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bafcutfig, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bafcutfig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bafcutfig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide from brown frogs for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.