Lintalfagyik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental hamster.

Lintalfagyik created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lintalfagyik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lintalfagyik, she will cry a lot.

Lintalfagyik's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Lintalfagyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head white.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never write about gravity.