Tonwadjop is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic duck.

Tonwadjop created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonwadjop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonwadjop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonwadjop's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tonwadjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from orange tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed strawberries to mice while wearing white boots.

5. Do not kill porpoises.