Ontflapven is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair fox.

Ontflapven created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontflapven, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ontflapven, she will send you a sign.

Ontflapven's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ontflapven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always obey Ontflapven's priests.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.