Cimgamrill is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, smart tortoise.

Cimgamrill created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimgamrill, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cimgamrill, he will turn you into a mouse.

Cimgamrill's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cimgamrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near dolphins while wearing white shirts.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Cimgamrill on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat apples.