Yoknatham Standitbot is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless walrus.

Yoknatham Standitbot created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoknatham Standitbot, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yoknatham Standitbot, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yoknatham Standitbot's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yoknatham Standitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Yoknatham Standitbot on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never look in ponds.