Lamfunnar is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, capable wren.

Lamfunnar created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lamfunnar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamfunnar, he will destroy your favourite star.

Lamfunnar's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Lamfunnar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry otters.

2. You must pray to Lamfunnar four times a day.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never talk about fire.