Pomfarflam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil tortoise.

Pomfarflam created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomfarflam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pomfarflam, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pomfarflam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pomfarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never sprint in the presence of nematodes.

3. Always help sick turtles.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.