Hitpomtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, generous turtle.

Hitpomtetti created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitpomtetti, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hitpomtetti, it will turn you into a rock.

Hitpomtetti's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Hitpomtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing violet boots and balancing seven gold spheres on your hands.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.