Tabkonsag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-confident pig.

Tabkonsag created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabkonsag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tabkonsag, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tabkonsag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tabkonsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Never look at moons.