Abstafbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unfair fly.

Abstafbeg created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abstafbeg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Abstafbeg, he will turn you into a tree.

Abstafbeg's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Abstafbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Hide from black ants for they are unholy.

3. Run away if eight rats approach from the west.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about tapirs.