Negwadcab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, astonishing mongoose.

Negwadcab created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negwadcab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Negwadcab, she will turn you into a rock.

Negwadcab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Negwadcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near foxes while wearing indigo shorts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat cherries.