Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful weasel.

Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bissgumtannutt Bodlagham's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.