Tiksatnel is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, pitiless tortoise.

Tiksatnel created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiksatnel, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiksatnel, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tiksatnel's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tiksatnel's Holy Commandments

1. Tiksatnel must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Always help sick sheep.