Yattrigcar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, pitiless troll.

Yattrigcar created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattrigcar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yattrigcar, he will turn you into a slug.

Yattrigcar's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yattrigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six dolphins approach from the east.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yattrigcar in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.