Teenkambag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous jackal.

Teenkambag created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenkambag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Teenkambag, it will not invite you to parties.

Teenkambag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Teenkambag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Always take life seriously.